He Asks for Everything

I think we've been comfortable for far too long.

We’ve been comfortable with our mediocre, have-God-on-my-terms Christianity for far too long. This lukewarm, one-foot-in-the-world version of Christianity that we’ve concocted is not the version of the Bible.

You see, Jesus asks for everything.

“If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whosever will save his life shall lose it: but whosever will lose his life for My sake, the same shall save it.” Luke 9: 23-24

I grew up thinking that since I said the sinner’s prayer when I was 10 years old, I was fine. I was going to heaven in the end, and God was happy with me. I mean, I had accepted Him and everything, right? So, what more did He want with my life? Sure, I knew that I needed to tack on a few more morals to look “better,” but I could still look like the rest of the world for the most part.

I could listen to the same music. I could wear the same clothes. I could participate in the same entertainment. I could make the same choices in regards to relationships and follow the world’s pattern for dating. Right?

No.

He asks for it all. Absolutely everything must be laid upon the altar. Nothing held back.

“And being in Bethany, in the house of Simon the leper, as he sat at meat, there came a woman having an alabaster box of ointment of spikenard very precious; and she broke the box, and poured it on His head.” Mark 14: 3

She broke it all out upon Jesus. A word in “spikenard” isn’t translated but is included in the Greek. It’s pistikos and means object of faith or trust. All that she had worked for and had confidence in was laid at the feet of Jesus.

"If the ultimate, the hardest, cannot be asked of me; if my fellows hesitate to ask it and turn to someone else, then I know nothing of Calvary love."

Amy Carmichael

“She stood, as it were, with her face to God and her back to the people, waiting to receive His Word for the ‘chosen people.’ She had a vision of the holy living. She would not deviate from that no matter how well established, rational, and practical the ways of older missions seemed to be.”

Elisabeth Elliot, in speaking of Amy Carmichael, who left her comfortable existence in England to rescue little girls from temple prostitution in India

So, the question we must ask ourselves is: Does Jesus have everything? Does He have all my hopes, my dreams, my future, my decisions…my life?

Because true life and fulfillment cannot come until He does. It’s just the Gospel. 

Gaining His heart

Lately, I have felt something I have never felt with such intensity before. Sure, the feeling has been present in my soul in the past, and God has just increased it over the years as I continue to gain His heart for those around me. But feeling it to this level? Well, it’s all new…

You see, there are a group of children that I have the privilege of spending every Monday evening with and usually other times throughout the week, as well. All it takes is one of them to look up at me with their sweet, innocent little face, and I break. I want to wrap each and every single one of them in my arms and never let go. I want to hold each one until all their pain is gone. All I want is to pour HIS love into them. Dear God, break me more for these precious ones…

As I have been studying through the book of I Thessalonians, I have come across certain phrases that I had never really given much thought to, skipped over, and maybe thought were kind of strange before. Phrases such as,

“So being affectionately desirous of you, we were willing to have imparted unto you, not the Gospel of God only, but also our own souls, because you were dear unto us.” 2: 8

“We exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father does his children.” 2:11

“But we, brethren, being taken (to bereave of a parent; to be rendered an orphan) from you for a short time in presence, not in heart, endeavored the more abundantly to see your face with great desire…For what is our hope, or joy, or crown of rejoicing? Are not even you in the Presence of our Lord Jesus Christ at His coming? For you are our glory and joy.” 2: 17, 19-20

“For now we live, if you stand fast in the Lord. For what thanks can we render to God again for you, for all the joy wherewith we joy for you sakes before our God: night and day praying exceedingly that we might see your face, and mighty perfect that which is lacking in your faith? 3: 8-10

However, now I understand what Paul meant.

The Thessalonians weren’t Paul’s actual children, obviously. Yet, he felt such deep affection and love for them, it seemed like they were. This is what God has been doing in my heart for these precious children I get to work with. Everything with me longs to see them come to know the Gospel. And, like 2:8 says, I am so willing to just spend and spill my life for them, not only giving them the Gospel.

And though I long to just pour my life into them constantly and ache after just a day or two of not seeing them, He has called me to “night and day pray exceedingly” that they might come to know Him and be raised up into mighty men and women of Truth. Will I, and you also, choose to stand between the hurt, vulnerable, and weak around the world and the enemy, who only wants to destroy them?

“And He saw that there was no man, and wondered that there was no intercessor…” Isaiah 59: 16

“I delivered the poor that cried, and the fatherless, and him that had none to help him…I was a father to the poor: and the cause which I knew not, I searched out. And I broke the jaws of the wicked, and plucked the spoil of his teeth.” Job 29

“He pleads effectively because he gives his life for those he pleads for; he is their genuine representative. He has submerged his self-interest in their needs and sufferings, and as far as possible has literally taken their place.” Norman Grubb, Rees Howells: Intercessor

“While women weep, as they do now, I'll fight; while children go hungry, as they do now I'll fight; while men go to prison, in and out, in and out, as they do now, I'll fight; while there is a drunkard left, while there is a poor lost girl upon the streets, while there remains one dark soul without the light of God, I'll fight; I'll fight to the very end!” William Booth

Perfect Rest

      Lately, Jesus has been teaching me in a small measure what truly relying upon Him looks like. Often, we have things in life that we cling to: food, sleep, relationships, or just anything that brings us comfort and counterfeit joy. A few months ago, I began praying that my entire reliance would be upon Him, that I would not turn to anything else for fulfillment but find true lasting satisfaction in His Presence.

     Then He began to test me on that very point. You see, each one of us has a choice to make in regards to our mornings. It is a very simple answer to a question that applies to every facet of life: am I going to live for the glory of God or for my own, earthly, temporary pleasure? Am I going to sleep in, wake up with just enough time to get ready and get to class, or am I going to set aside time to spend in His Presence? Though the right answer is simple, it requires the complete denial of self.

“But she that lives in pleasure is dead while she lives.” I Timothy 5: 6

     If I choose to live for my own pleasure or what I think will bring true rest, it will only result in death. However, what happens when I choose to deny myself and make Him the number one priority? Is He more important to me than a few extra hours of sleep? Do I crave His Presence so much that I am willing to deny myself?

“I laid me down and slept: I awaked, for the Lord sustained me.” Psalm 3: 5

     The word “sustain” means: to support, lean upon, uphold, refresh, and revive.

“You will show me the path of life. In Your Presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore.” Psalms 16: 11

     Do we truly believe that Jesus is our rest? Do we truly believe that He only provides true rest, refreshment, and rejuvenation?

     See, the truth is that we don’t need to turn to temporary fixes or solutions in order to find rest or be rejuvenated, even ones that the world deems we “deserve” or “need.” We have a much higher calling as Christians.

“Other ‘Christian’ girls may watch the same movies, listen to the same music, wear the same clothes, and have all the same pop culture addictions as the rest of the world with just slightly higher morals tacked on. But God has called us to a higher standard- the very standard of Jesus Christ. And I believe it’s time we became worthy of the calling we have received.” Leslie Ludy

“We must look upon the world, with all its delights and all its attractions, with suspicion and reserve. We are called to a higher kingdom, we are touched with a Diviner Spirit. It is not that He forbids us this or that comfort or indulgence; it is not that He is stern, demanding us to follow a narrow path. But we who love the Lord and whose affections are set on heavenly things voluntarily and gladly lay aside the things that charm and ravish the world, that, for our part, our hearts may be ravished with the things of heaven, that our whole being may be poured forth in constant and unreserved devotion in the service of the Lord who died to save us."

~ Amy Carmichael

     I have truly discovered this year what seems to be a paradoxical notion. When I let myself have extra “downtime” or sleep in late so as to not have as much time with my sweet Bridegroom who daily beckons me unto Himself, I have less energy throughout the day. However, when I make time in the morning to spend with Him, even if it means less sleep (no matter how significant a loss of sleep it may be), I have more than enough energy and strength for the day and more! He is so faithful to supply every need. And I cannot even begin to explain how much better my day flows and how ready I am to go to battle and truly pour out my life in service to those around me. We must be built in the secret place in order to be able to truly spend our lives for those around us.

As I remember...

This morning, I woke up, looked at my calendar, and tried to comprehend how it could possibly be the last day of 2012 already! This caused me to simply praise Him for what a wonderful year He has blessed me with. It just fascinates me that a year ago, I would never have imagined myself in the place that I am at. In fact, I said repeatedly that I could never go or do that which I am living currently. Oh,  how truly grateful I am that His ways are not our ways! I would have totally messed up my life by now if I was not completely yielded to Him! 

My year at a glance: 

• First and foremost, dedicated the year to Jesus in complete surrender
• Applied to Ellerslie Leadership Training to be a part of the Summer 2012 class and heard back shortly thereafter that I was accepted! 
• I got to attend the Cross Style Conference in early January
•  Continued to work at Blondie's Cookies up until middle May
• Applied to several different colleges, including Lipscomb, Campbellsville, Charleston Southern, Indiana Wesleyan, IU, and Bethel. 
• Spent Spring Break visiting the different colleges and finally made a decision a few weeks after
• Flew out to Colorado in early April for Hannah Day's beautiful wedding. It was such a blessing to stay at the Joy House and enjoy sweet times of fellowship and prayer with the girls!
• I graduated from  high school with an amazing senior class and then got to spend a week with them on our senior trip in Tennessee! 
• Probably the best summer of my life out in Colorado. He pressed me deeper, taught me what it truly meant to spend myself in intercession for others, and blessed me with some really close sisters that I still talk to. It's incredible to be able to just randomly text a dear sister and ask for prayer and know that she's wrestling! 
• I began college in late August at Campbellsville University. God had wonderful things planned last semester! The first two or so months were really spent just in the secret place, learning to spend myself upon my King and in prayer. He brought a wonderful ministry to my attention, in which a group of us go each week to pour into children who live in a low income neighborhood and have really devastating family situations. I also became involved in a prayer group that meets every night, the people of which I have made close friends with! 
• Early October, I had the amazing privilege of returning to Ellerslie for the Alumni Reunion. It was a much needed time of refreshment and being encouraged and edified by like minded people pressing hard after Jesus! Though my class had just graduated a few months ago, sharing battle stories with them was incredible. 
• I spent Fall Break and Thanksgiving Break at home, getting to quench (at least a little) my desire to bake that had been building for months! 
• And this Christmas Break has been an incredible time with Jesus, working at Blondie's again, and spending time with family and friends. 

He is so wonderful! I am so amazed at how faithful He has been! There are moments when I take a step back and really just am astonished at how perfect He orchestrates everything in my life. Though many things have been difficult and far from easy, He knows what He is doing. His plans and ways are so perfect. Oh, I never want to lay a finger upon my life or agenda-- it's all HIS, now and for eternity! 

And what is also amazing? I know that it can only get better! 

"Better is the end of the thing than the beginning thereof." Ecclesiastes 7: 8

"Oh, how great is Thy goodness, which Thou hast laid up for them that fear Thee, which thou hast wrought for them that trust in Thee before the sons of men!" Psalm 31: 19

His strength or mine?

We, as Christians, are called to live an impossible life.

     Growing up, I guess I knew that my life was supposed to look as least somewhat different from those around me, but the impossible things that Jesus commanded, were passed off as “just do your best, and when you mess it up, it’s okay. He forgives you, and it’s not like you will ever actually live this life as a Christian well. That’s what grace is for.”  However, in the past couple of years, I’ve taken on a different perspective. According to Romans 6-8, my old Krista is dead with Christ. I no longer live. Instead, the very life of Jesus Christ Himself, along with the same power that raised Christ from the dead, dwells in me.

     Our lives are not to be ones of defeat. They are to be lives that represent His triumph, joy, and victory.

     So, what about this impossible life He calls us to?

     These past couple weeks have required a supernatural energy. Being a college student at the end of a semester is not easy; there are papers to write, exams to study for, schedules to make for next semester, etc. Though these can be straining, what really requires the grace of God is choosing, in the midst of tiredness from work and exams, to serve, spend, spill, pour out your life. The enemy has brought the bait a couple times:

“Don’t respond immediately when you know that someone needs help. Sit back, and pretend you don’t see.”

“It’s okay to get irritated with that person right now. You’re stressed and have a lot to do. They most certainly will understand later. After all, it’s just normal.”

“Just take this morning and sleep in. God understands that you need rest. You can spend time with Him in intercession and study later.”

“Use your free time for yourself. Don’t worry about those kids you know that need love and to be shown Jesus. You need some time this afternoon to relax—you’ve had a busy day.”

     When each of these has been presented, God has continually reminded me to rise up by His supernatural strength, and declare “NO!” My calling and purpose is to serve and spend myself for those around me. God will take care of how much rest I need. God will take care of how much sleep I get it. God will take care of how much time I need to finish that paper. God knows that I need to finish that test.

I have discovered in a whole new way what it truly means to trust God to supply the needed grace and strength for the day. When I have deliberately chosen to set my alarm in order to have sufficient time to spend with Him, even though it may mean significantly less sleep that I am told is “needed,” He always provides more than enough.

     I have learned in an even greater measure what little “strength” I have is…nonexistent. If I rely upon what I have, I will crumble under the weight of the high calling He has given me. For, this impossible Christian life requires constant vigilance, prayer, watchfulness, sobermindness, strength, endurance, fortitude, and immovability. However, when I rely fully upon His strength, I always, without fail, have more than enough for what is needed.

“Normal Christianity means never being ‘normal’ again.” Leslie Ludy

“Now unto HIM that is able (the dynamite power of God) to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power (the dynamite power of God) that works in us.” Ephesians 3: 20