“Greater love has no man than this,that a man lay down his
life for his friends.” John 15: 13
For a long time, I think I had the mindset that
relationships are mostly about what I can get from them. Now, most of us wouldn't
openly admit that, but it shows in our actions. For instance, what happens when
someone offends us? Well, we usually aren't happy about it at least and will
sulk, distance ourselves from that person, or even cut off the relationship all
together. I've heard so many rants about how “this person hurt me and did this
horrible thing…” or “this person responded by saying____ in a text message to
me!”
What is the entire purpose of relationships? Why do we have
friendships? Is it for what we are going to get out of it? I think the question
might be more easily answered if we asked ourselves what the entire purpose of
being on earth is.
To give God glory.
So the whole point of relationships is to give God glory. He
has given us friendships. They’re a blessing from Him. Why? So that they can bring
Him glory. It’s not ultimately about us being satisfied or fulfilled (that
should come from Him, Psalm 16:11) but about us pointing others back to the
cross. You have been given friendships with the purpose to die to yourself,
wash their feet, and spend yourself for the sake of the Gospel.
Relationships are not about what you are going to get out of
them.
“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with
humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not
merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of
others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who,
although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a
thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant,
and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He
humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a
cross.” Philippians 2
The word for “selfishness” in this passage literally means “electioneering
or intriguing for office; a desire to put one’s self forward; a root word of
self-will.” Also, verse 4 would more accurately be translated according to the
Greek as, “Do not look out for your own interests but for the interests of
others.” The word “also” is not in the Greek.
So what does this passage reveal to us about relationships?
Well, we’re not supposed to be looking out for our comforts, interests, or
pursuits. We must be willing to let those be squashed if it will bring glory to
God and point others to Him.
Later on in verse 16, Paul states:
“holding fast the word of life, so that in the day of Christ
I will have reason to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain.”
The word “run” means to exert one’s self and incur extreme
peril.
“But even if I am being poured out as a drink offering upon
the sacrifice and service of your faith, I rejoice and share my joy with you
all.”
“Poured out” literally means “one whose blood is poured out
in violent death for the cause.”
Is this the mindset with which you approach relationships?
That it’s not about you or what you’re going to get out of it? Are you willing
to pour yourself out, empty yourself for others?
Real love is willing to be made vulnerable. If you’re going
to be intentional about relationships, seek to reach out to the unlovable, even
just have friendships in which you recognize and know that you have that
friendship so that you can pour into that person, you’re going to be hurt.
People may lie to you. They may take advantage of you, since you’re not seeking
to defend your interests or desires. You see, this is a privilege though.
“Very gladly spend and be spent for you, though the more
abundantly I love you, the less I be loved.” 2 Corinthians 12: 15
Philippians says that it was Christ’s joy to lay down His
life for us. True joy comes when we choose to stop fighting for our own
interests and let Christ satisfy us. When Christ is truly our satisfaction,
contentment, fulfillment, and joy, we can come into relationships with the mindset
of pouring out rather than what we can get from them.
You have many opportunities every day in your common-place
interactions with people to take the lowest place (Luke 14:10) and seek to
serve them. Even when you’re just “hanging out” with friends, you have that opportunity
to point them to Christ and the Gospel. You may be hanging out with Christians.
Great. You’re given that privilege in order to serve the body of Christ and for
His glory.
Jesus will take care of the rest and make sure all our needs
are met.
Our mindset, though?
Christ’s glory. And others.
"Be the first wherever there is a sacrifice to be made,
a self-denial to be practiced, or an impetus to be given." Amy Carmichael
"“The measure of self-giving is the measure of fulfillment.” Elisabeth Elliot
