As I remember...

This morning, I woke up, looked at my calendar, and tried to comprehend how it could possibly be the last day of 2012 already! This caused me to simply praise Him for what a wonderful year He has blessed me with. It just fascinates me that a year ago, I would never have imagined myself in the place that I am at. In fact, I said repeatedly that I could never go or do that which I am living currently. Oh,  how truly grateful I am that His ways are not our ways! I would have totally messed up my life by now if I was not completely yielded to Him! 

My year at a glance: 

• First and foremost, dedicated the year to Jesus in complete surrender
• Applied to Ellerslie Leadership Training to be a part of the Summer 2012 class and heard back shortly thereafter that I was accepted! 
• I got to attend the Cross Style Conference in early January
•  Continued to work at Blondie's Cookies up until middle May
• Applied to several different colleges, including Lipscomb, Campbellsville, Charleston Southern, Indiana Wesleyan, IU, and Bethel. 
• Spent Spring Break visiting the different colleges and finally made a decision a few weeks after
• Flew out to Colorado in early April for Hannah Day's beautiful wedding. It was such a blessing to stay at the Joy House and enjoy sweet times of fellowship and prayer with the girls!
• I graduated from  high school with an amazing senior class and then got to spend a week with them on our senior trip in Tennessee! 
• Probably the best summer of my life out in Colorado. He pressed me deeper, taught me what it truly meant to spend myself in intercession for others, and blessed me with some really close sisters that I still talk to. It's incredible to be able to just randomly text a dear sister and ask for prayer and know that she's wrestling! 
• I began college in late August at Campbellsville University. God had wonderful things planned last semester! The first two or so months were really spent just in the secret place, learning to spend myself upon my King and in prayer. He brought a wonderful ministry to my attention, in which a group of us go each week to pour into children who live in a low income neighborhood and have really devastating family situations. I also became involved in a prayer group that meets every night, the people of which I have made close friends with! 
• Early October, I had the amazing privilege of returning to Ellerslie for the Alumni Reunion. It was a much needed time of refreshment and being encouraged and edified by like minded people pressing hard after Jesus! Though my class had just graduated a few months ago, sharing battle stories with them was incredible. 
• I spent Fall Break and Thanksgiving Break at home, getting to quench (at least a little) my desire to bake that had been building for months! 
• And this Christmas Break has been an incredible time with Jesus, working at Blondie's again, and spending time with family and friends. 

He is so wonderful! I am so amazed at how faithful He has been! There are moments when I take a step back and really just am astonished at how perfect He orchestrates everything in my life. Though many things have been difficult and far from easy, He knows what He is doing. His plans and ways are so perfect. Oh, I never want to lay a finger upon my life or agenda-- it's all HIS, now and for eternity! 

And what is also amazing? I know that it can only get better! 

"Better is the end of the thing than the beginning thereof." Ecclesiastes 7: 8

"Oh, how great is Thy goodness, which Thou hast laid up for them that fear Thee, which thou hast wrought for them that trust in Thee before the sons of men!" Psalm 31: 19

His strength or mine?

We, as Christians, are called to live an impossible life.

     Growing up, I guess I knew that my life was supposed to look as least somewhat different from those around me, but the impossible things that Jesus commanded, were passed off as “just do your best, and when you mess it up, it’s okay. He forgives you, and it’s not like you will ever actually live this life as a Christian well. That’s what grace is for.”  However, in the past couple of years, I’ve taken on a different perspective. According to Romans 6-8, my old Krista is dead with Christ. I no longer live. Instead, the very life of Jesus Christ Himself, along with the same power that raised Christ from the dead, dwells in me.

     Our lives are not to be ones of defeat. They are to be lives that represent His triumph, joy, and victory.

     So, what about this impossible life He calls us to?

     These past couple weeks have required a supernatural energy. Being a college student at the end of a semester is not easy; there are papers to write, exams to study for, schedules to make for next semester, etc. Though these can be straining, what really requires the grace of God is choosing, in the midst of tiredness from work and exams, to serve, spend, spill, pour out your life. The enemy has brought the bait a couple times:

“Don’t respond immediately when you know that someone needs help. Sit back, and pretend you don’t see.”

“It’s okay to get irritated with that person right now. You’re stressed and have a lot to do. They most certainly will understand later. After all, it’s just normal.”

“Just take this morning and sleep in. God understands that you need rest. You can spend time with Him in intercession and study later.”

“Use your free time for yourself. Don’t worry about those kids you know that need love and to be shown Jesus. You need some time this afternoon to relax—you’ve had a busy day.”

     When each of these has been presented, God has continually reminded me to rise up by His supernatural strength, and declare “NO!” My calling and purpose is to serve and spend myself for those around me. God will take care of how much rest I need. God will take care of how much sleep I get it. God will take care of how much time I need to finish that paper. God knows that I need to finish that test.

I have discovered in a whole new way what it truly means to trust God to supply the needed grace and strength for the day. When I have deliberately chosen to set my alarm in order to have sufficient time to spend with Him, even though it may mean significantly less sleep that I am told is “needed,” He always provides more than enough.

     I have learned in an even greater measure what little “strength” I have is…nonexistent. If I rely upon what I have, I will crumble under the weight of the high calling He has given me. For, this impossible Christian life requires constant vigilance, prayer, watchfulness, sobermindness, strength, endurance, fortitude, and immovability. However, when I rely fully upon His strength, I always, without fail, have more than enough for what is needed.

“Normal Christianity means never being ‘normal’ again.” Leslie Ludy

“Now unto HIM that is able (the dynamite power of God) to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power (the dynamite power of God) that works in us.” Ephesians 3: 20

Set as Flint

Lately I have noticed at a new level that whenever God is doing something great in a body of His people, the enemy brings an onslaught of attacks as a result. At Ellerslie this summer, many of the girls talked about how they just felt so tired whenever we were in session but were fine out of session.  Some people also had an increase in bad dreams, while others dealt with various attempts of the enemy to distract them.  These would come at crucial moments in the semester, when we knew that we needed to be engaged and fighting the battle but were being barraged by the enemy. However, once we recognized that they were attacks coming from the enemy to get our eyes off Jesus, fixed upon ourselves, and thusly not allowing God to accomplish the work He was wanting to do in us, we began to fight and saw vivid and great results.

I have noticed something similar here at college lately, also. We have been meeting for prayer every night for a while now. We have been pressing into prayer for the salvation of those around us and for campus revival. The enemy knows, of course. Today I suddenly realized that many of the girls I have talked to recently have been experiencing distractions in a greater measure in their lives than earlier in the semester.

While it is difficult to fight these battles, raise up walls of fortification, and not allow the enemy to have an inch of ground in our lives, we should also count it a great privilege. It simply means that God is doing great things, and the enemy is trying to stop it. I think it may have been William Booth that said, in talking about sending people out to do the work of the Kingdom, “Go and take the devil with you.” Every true work and movement of God will have the opposition of the devil along with it. Spurgeon said, “There was never a revival of religion without a revival of satan’s opposition.”

So, while we consider it all joy that satan sees the mighty work God wants to do in us, let us also be on our guard. He must not be allowed to distract us, to move us, to get our eyes off of Jesus. Jesus wants to do something mighty in our lives, so let us continue to look to Him, with our swords drawn, ready to fight any spiritual power of darkness that would seek to thwart His purpose!

This morning, I was struck by the phrase in Acts 11: 23, “with purpose of heart they would cleave unto the Lord.” Let us set our hearts to seek the Lord, and set our faces as flint (Isaiah 50: 7) in this battle. We will not be distracted, we will not be moved, we will not be deterred. For King and Kingdom!

A heart full of love...

Continuing my post from last week, here is a list of things I am thankful for today...

1. Sweet time with friends over the weekend...

2. Improvising because of the whole no-oven-in-the-dorm- rule and making puppy chow instead...

3. Colorful pens...they help make my assignment book so much more festive, fun, and feminine! 

4. My wonderful space heater that keeps my warm when the room is cold...

5. The fact that I have the privilege of going to a prayer meeting every night with a group of people truly seeking after Jesus...

6. HIS love...

A Lily Among Thorns

This week I have been meditating upon and studying Proverbs 31. While I have heard the chapter quoted many times in my life and deeply love it, I felt a need to meditate on it and do a deeper study of it this week. While my thoughts are definitely not all inclusive by any means, these are just some characteristics that I came up with that describe the Proverbs 31 woman and how it applies to women today:

        *   Her sword is always drawn, ready to fight any spiritual foe that may seek to conquer what God has already won in her soul or in the souls of those around her. The word “virtuous” in verse 10 is the same word used to describe David’s mighty men.
      *        She is truly a lily among thorns (Song of Solomon 2:2). She is rare, and her price is far above rubies
      *        Her husband trusts her and has absolute confidence that she will guard and steward well that which he has earned and gives to her (verse 11).
      *        She seeks to do her husband good…even before she even meets him. She is set apart for her husband, loving him, honoring him, and seeking to please him, even during her single years (verse 12).
      *        The word “willingly” in verse 13 means “with delight and pleasure.” She does her work for her husband and children with delight and pleasure. It is not a burden for her to do. She loves to serve those around her and counts it her greatest privilege and honor.
      *        She seeks to provide her family with the best and is willing to work long, tedious hours to do so, never grumbling or complaining about it (verse 14-15, 18, 21-22, 27)
      *        She doesn't take any thought for her own comforts, luxuries, or pleasures. Her desire is to pour herself into others (verse 15, 18)
      *        She possesses mystery (verse 14). That which is sacred is kept sacred within her, not to be flippantly given to those who have not proven themselves worthy or have no claim to it. I remember reading that it was said of Elisabeth Elliot that guys in her classes at college would just sit in class and wonder what she was thinking about, for she was a “garden enclosed” (Song of Solomon 4:12)
      *        She is strong with the strength of Jehovah, ready to fight any spiritual foe that would wreak havoc on her soul or the souls of those entrusted to her care (verse 17)
      *        She cares for the needy and seeks them out (verse 20). It is not her spiritual “obligation” or “duty” to serve them. She sees them as Jesus does: royalty.
      *        In verse 21, “scarlet” could be translated “clothed doubly.” She wants the best for her family, no matter how much “extra” work it costs her
      *        She does not dress seductively, sloppily, or haphazardly. She dresses and carries herself with feminine grace and dignity (verses 22 and 25)
      *        She waits and preserves her heart for a godly man, who can lead well (verse 23 and compare Job 29)
      *        She is clothed with the strength of her God. She knows that she does not possess strength in and of herself. Therefore, she clothes herself with the all-sufficient strength of God in order to be able to govern her house and children well, never allowing a moment of “down-time” or “me-time,” constantly and consistently focused on the needs of those around her (verse 25).
       *        She honors those around her. She gives honor to her husband, giving him place to be a man, lead the home, and edifying him with her words. She honors her children by listening to what they have to say and pouring into them. She honors the “least of these” by serving them and treating them as royalty (verse 25).
      *        She laughs at the days to come (verse 25). She is not afraid of the future. She does not give an iota to doubt, fear, or anxiety. She trusts the future to her God and knows that He has it handled, no matter how circumstances around her appear. She has a joy and peace that are beyond all earthly explanation.
      *        She speaks words of wisdom and kindness. Her tongue is Spirit-governed. Her words are not gossipy and don’t bring others down. She edifies those around her and points them to Jesus (verse 27).
      *        She watches over her household. She is constantly attentive to the needs of her family (verse 27).
      *        She doesn't give time for herself or to laziness. She is constantly engaged, vigilant, and sober minded (verse 27).
      *        Her life and servant heart incite the praise of her husband and children. She inspires their respect (verse 28-31).
      *        She is clothed with a “meek and quiet spirit” (I Peter 3: 4). She has an inward beauty that radiates Jesus and that will never fade, for it is His very beauty within her (verse 30). She does not chase after the fleeting beauty of this world, nor give into its pressure. She is confident in Jesus, not in herself. She does not look inward or to herself for true beauty. She looks to Jesus and knows that all true beauty comes from Him alone.
      *        She will be rewarded and honored (verse 31).

Now, I realize how impossible this type of life sounds. However, it is the life that God calls us to. Proverbs 31 is not to be explained away or compromised in any way. This life is entirely possible – to a woman who has yielded herself fully to Jesus Christ and is leaning upon His strong right arm. His grace will supply every need that we have. We are not to attempt to live this impossible Proverbs 31- woman -life in our own strength. Only He can live it in and through our surrendered lives.